In Western culture, the concept of celebrating death may seem rather alien to us, not to mention a bit macabre. The topic of death and events such as funerals are something we tend not to dwell on or discuss. Our culture forces us to mourn and remember our loved ones in seclusion and privacy and we attempt to distract ourselves from all the emotions and swiftly return to the “normality” of our lives. There are no particularly special events held post-funeral, and the subsequent death anniversaries are sad days often spent in solitude or amongst only the closest of family.
That is not the case for a large majority of the Vietnamese people, also known as the Kinh people, who celebrate death anniversaries. Death anniversaries (ngày giỗ) are amongst the most important dates of the year alongside Tết, the Vietnamese New Year celebration. In Vietnam, death anniversaries are sacred times at which to focus on the happiness and good that the person brought to the world. Death anniversaries bring the family and close friends together, to not only embrace the presence of their deceased loved one’s spirit, but also to truly embrace the presence of their living family members too.
These occasions are always joyful ones and a great excuse for catching up with family and friends, feasting on delicious foods and heartily drinking. Most families celebrate several ngày giỗ per year, and usually the death anniversary of an ancestor is celebrated for following three generations.
Food is an integral part of this celebration. The women of the family will spend the whole day, and maybe even the whole day before, preparing and cooking the deceased person’s favourite dishes, and also many other sweet and savoury Vietnamese specialties. One of these is likely to be bánh ít; a sweet rice roll which is pyramidical in shape and filled with caramelised crushed peanuts and wrapped in banana leaf. Fresh chicken and pork dishes are also popular at these feasts. Sometimes, if the party is really big, the family will hire external caterers to take care of all the food and a huge marquee filling the yard and overflowing onto the streets.
Every family’s house has an altar or shrine which is placed in the most prominent possible position in the home, usually in the main common space or largest room and facing towards an entrance. Some alters are very large and in the form of a cabinet whereas others are smaller and shelf-like and affixed to the wall. Many families will have three or more altars, often arranged one atop of another, creating levels ascending like a pyramid.
The altar is the focal point for the family’s religious services to their ancestors, and in the eyes of the family it makes each home the equivalent to Rome in Christianity; the pinnacle of religious status. The Kinh people worship their ancestors and treat the ancestral home as the most sacred place.
The altar displays and stores the family’s most prized possessions, which are protected by the family’s spirits. If the alter is large enough, the family’s rice supply for the year is stored here too. On the death anniversary, the elaborate banquet will be laid out around or on the shrine and is offered firstly to the spirit of the loved one. Cooked and uncooked rice, hot rice soup, green tea, rice wine and incense are amongst some of the mandatory offerings, alongside photographs, memorabilia, flowers, various gifts and candles. The burning of paper items such as fake paper money is another common practice and this is a form of gift giving for the dead. Other paper items such as paper motorbikes, paper cars and paper toys for children are also common for this ritual, which is always carried out by the eldest patrilineal family member.
The Kinh believe that the smoke from the burning incense will guide the dead to safety or safe passing, and will also guide them back home on days like these. The spirit cannot taste the food, but the spirit can smell the food, and can also smell the incense and flowers. The family members each light their own incense sticks and place it at the shrine to burn. When all of the incense has burned, it means the spirit has finished feasting, so the rest of the family can now rearrange the food for themselves and then tuck-in and enjoy each other’s company.
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